Fake it Till you Make it?

I’m in a funk. I feel like I’m losing in so many important areas of my life. Don’t worry, like my mom often says: “this too shall pass.” Even though it’s temporary, when you’re in it, it’s like the vacuum of the world is sucking the life right out of you.

I have so much to be thankful for. God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve. I know God is good and faithful. I know I can go to Him for rest. I know I can approach His throne of grace to find help. I know my salvation is secure because of Jesus Christ and that the Holy Spirit is with me.

So why am I in a funk? I could probably give you a few reasons, but instead, I want to share that it’s ok not to be ok. God understands and there are probably more people in your life than you realize who also understand.

Throughout the Bible we find some of the most faithful people in funks. Elijah prays for God to take his life saying “I have had enough Lord.” Hannah is accused of being drunk because she’s in such grief over infertility and praying so passionately for God to give her a child. David laments to God in Psalm 13: “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?” After Job faces loss like most of us will never know he wishes he had never been born.  Even Jesus prays for His Father to “take this cup from me” in the garden before he’s arrested.

Sometimes when I’m in a funk, I still have to preach. I still have to perform a wedding ceremony. I still have to pray for someone. I still have to lead a meeting. I still have to attend a coaching session. In those times it is wise for me to fake that I’m not in a funk. It’s something I would imagine many leaders in the secular and church world have to do at one time or another. 

My question is this: is it healthy? Is it healthy to fake joy, or love, or peace or any other positive emotion?  Is it okay to fake faith when preaching a sermon when you are in a doubting season yourself? 

If it’s not healthy, then what, do you just not do the wedding and let the bride and groom down at the last minute. Do you just not preach the sermon and say you can’t do it because you don’t know if you believe what you are saying yourself? I don’t think that’s the right thing to do or the professional thing to do. We can’t be happy and feel great and think life is amazing all the time, so what do we do when we have responsibilities and aren’t our best selves.

Enter “fake it till you make it.” If I pretend to have joy, or pretend that I really do believe in the message I’m preaching or that I am a good leader…maybe just maybe…if I do it enough I will start to actually be those things. In pursuing becoming the mother she wanted to be, author Leah McLaren writes: “I wasn’t just faking it to make it. I was changing into the person I wanted to be, simply by pretending to be her.” If we choose to act like the person we want to be even when we don't "feel" like being that person, there’s a chance those actions will lead to true feelings. If actions speak louder than words, maybe actions can also speak louder than our feelings.

Jesus didn’t feel like dying on the cross for our sins, He chose to do it. He literally asked God to find another way in His anguish. He also said “not my will but yours be done,” because He didn’t let his feelings dictate his actions. He chose to put sacrificial love in action. 

I do think there’s a shadow side to “fake it till you make it” that needs to be named. If we are always faking it, then there’s an issue.  Elijah, Hannah, Job, David and Jesus all went through the rough times and the feelings that accompanied those situations. They weren’t in chronic funks. Their funks were seasonal. If our funks are seasonal we will only have to “fake it till we make it” to get through those seasons. It’s when are constantly living this out that it can become dangerous and we may need to pursue professional help from a physician or counselor.

I’m so thankful I don’t have to fake that I believe Jesus is Lord and that my salvation is secure in Him. I’m also thankful for a God who calls us to agape love which might just include the idea of “fake till you make it.”

Day 9 - Epworth and Coventry

We drove to Epworth today, where John Wesley was born and raised most of his young life.  There's a famous story of the house catching on fire and all the children were out except John, who was stuck on the upper floor.  A man standing on another man's shoulder pulled him out of the window and saved him, he was five years old.  Susanna (John's mother) said John was a "brand plucked from the fire."

We toured the house (not original, but original floor plan and some original items) and ate at a local pub/hotel called the Red Lion where John stayed when he came back to visit Epworth as an adult.

The highlight of the day was visiting Saint Andrews Parish where John's father Samuel Wesley was the Rector/Pastor while they lived in Epworth.  We held a chalice that was 950 years old the Wesley's used for communion.  We also stood by the original baptismal where they woudl've each been baptized.  It was a phenomenal experience!

On the way to the hotel we stopped by Coventry Cathedral and joined them in an evensong service.  The service and singing and Cathedral were beautiful.  It's a modern Cathedral that combines classic architecture with modern art.

Another phenomenal Day!

Day 8 - Ministry Sites

Today was a day of touring various ministry sites.  The United States is headed in the same direction that England is already in with most of the population being unchurched and highly secularized.  Very old churches are finding ways to be the church within this new context.  

Today we visited some of the sites doing creative ministry to reach an unchurched population.  The church is not a building, it's a people doing missional ministry to bring people into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.  We often call these churches that look different "fresh expressions."  

We began at St. Georges in Gateshead.  It's an old Church of England church that was barely surviving until a new, young pastor came along whose wife convinced him that this where they need to be. They saw a vision for the church and developed worship that people can relate too and a ministry called Alpha that gives people a safe place to ask the most important questions in life and point them to Christ as the answer.  

He talked about how the church has a famous organ that only gets used occasionally, but really, in our culture today, how famous can an organ be?  Is it more important to do worship in the same way it's always been because of the organ, or is it more important to worship in a way that will reach people?

Pink Floyd and Jesus

Our next stop was the Ark.  It was also an old church building that they have turned into children's play area.  It wasn't as centered on Christ as I would've liked for it to be, but they do have a breakfast church for kids and parents once or a twice a month.  At least a church building is being used to offer a safe place for parents to bring their kids.

Our third stop was Brunswick Methodist Church in Newcastle.  John Wesley visited Newcastle and preached.  His first time preaching on the street 4 or 5 people turned into hundreds of people.  He preached again the same day at 5pm and had thousands in attendance.  Wesley bought land there and established an church and an orphanage.  The church there today is struggling like so many others.  They have just appointed a pastor there who feels called to bring new ideas and revitalize the church.  

 Our final stop was in Shieldfield at a ministry began by Jesmond UMC called SAW: Shielfield Art Works.  They are in an area near a University, but the building itself is planted right in the middle of what we would call government housing.  They are there to be a light and safe place for people to learn and share art. 

 

Tried to buy this painting, it wasn't for sale.

We had one lecture on Faith in Culture when we got back to Durham, then several of us had dinner and walked around Durham.  

Day 7 - Dinner at the Castle

Woke up for a traditional service of morning prayer led by Phillip Plyming.  It was simple, refreshing and beautiful.  What a great way to start the day!

The rest of the day consisted of lectures.  The two best were one by Phillip Plyming called "Lessons from Paul in Corinth" and one by David Wilkinson on the intersection of Faith and Science.

I didn't realize that a group of scientists in the 1800's decided that science needed its on professional arena.  Science and religion were tied too closely together so this group called the X club set out to create conflict between faith and science to give science it's on professional arena.  It worked and now there's this myth that faith and science are at odds with each other when in fact they compliment each other.

The day ended with something I have never done and will probably never do again.  

WE HAD DINNER AT A CASTLE!

I felt like I was on an episode of Downton Abbey.  The company was good, the atmosphere was beautiful and the food was delicious.

Seriously, I had dinner at a castle.

After dinner, Chris Westmoreland and I walked Dr. Liz Kent to her car because we are chivalrous.  We crossed a bridge and she told us there's a possibility that C.S. Lewis got his inspiration for the lamp post in Narnia from this spot. I'm going with it!

It was an exceptional day of learning and eating at a castle that I will never forget!

Day 6 - Lectures and a Surprise

We began the day with morning prayer at St. Mary the Less chapel on the Durham University Campus.  Our very own Kyle Idleman led the devotional.  Here's the chapel:

The rest of the day consisted of lectures from Colleagues of David Wilkinson, most of who were professors at St. John's College.

There was quite a bit content about the current nature of Christianity in England and how to reach people within this new context.

Here's what the main lecture room looked like with the incredible Dr. Liz Kent sharing about the state and structure of British Methodism:

During one of the breaks in between lectures I walked around Durham Cathedral and was surprised by an amazing location called the Cloister.  I Geeked out a bit when I entered this area:

For those of you who don't know, this was the setting for the outside hallways and courtyard of Hogwarts in several Harry Potter movies.

I also found myself tearing up as I walked around the inside of the Cathedral itself, it was absolutely breathtaking.  Pictures would not do it justice.

We ended the night taking out one of our colleagues, Lowell Mcnaney, out for his birthday.  We ate at bar and restaurant called The Shakespeare.  

One of the consistent themes of the lectures was how to reach people in the current culture.  I think the strategy in England applies to our culture here in the U.S. as well.  People tend to come to faith through their experience of Christians and attitudes towards faith and the church more than through teaching, preaching and/or Apologetics.  

Not to say preaching and teaching and apologetics aren't important or don't have their place, they do and they are.  They still reach certain people.

But the majority of people these days will come to faith through relationships and experiences of Christians, church and faith.   

Jesus said very clearly and plainly in John 13:35 "By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."  He also gave us great examples over and over again of reaching out in relationship to all people, but most controversially to people who society had labelled unworthy, unfit, outcast and unclean.

May we love people the way we are called to love people so that we give God a reputation that makes Him irresistible to the people we come across in our lives.

Day 5 - Jesmond United Methodist Church

We were up the next morning early enough to attend Allison Wilkinson's (David's Wife) Church in New Castle called Jesmond United Methodist. 

On the way we say this famous sculpture, it's called the angel of the North:

The service at Jesmond was beautiful. Contemporary worship, biblical preaching, a welcoming Spirit and a genuineness that can't be copied. They had a homeless man come in off the street who had never been there before and interrupted the service a couple of times. The leaders handled it perfectly and reminded him a couple of different times that he was welcome there and that it was a safe place for him to be.

During the service they had a time called "Family Sharing" that was open for anyone to share a prayer request, praise or something they are passionate about happening in their lives.  It really made the church feel like a family who could be real and open with one another.  The love and support was so thick that it just couldn't be missed.

Allison preached from Luke 13:1  0-21.  She did a great job of sharing a personal story that tied in well to how we can get distracted by what matters most, just like the religious leaders did.  They had a high view of the Sabbath just as we all should, however, they held it above caring for someone in need.

Jesus reminds us that our value is not in what we do, can do, can't do, look like, health we have or don't have...but in our relationship with God.

She ended by reminding us: "Don't ever think an unnamed woman being healed doesn't send ripples throughout the kingdom of God."

After the service, Allison hosted us for a lunch provided by the cafe (Nineteen 01) they share a building with.

Then we sat through David, Allison and their son Adam each taking a turn to share with us the state of Christianity in England and the ways Jesmond is trying to reach people for Jesus.  They grounded their lectures in Acts 17:16-34.

Then they treated us to a traditional English dinner provided once again by Nineteen 01.

I didn't take a picture of the food, but it was roast beef, yorkshire pudding (which is like baked pancake batter), potatoes, cauliflower with cheese and dessert.  I didn't get a picture of the meal, I wish I would've, it was phenomenal.  I did get a picture of the dessert, which I enjoyed with a spot of tea!

We ended the night experiencing worship in the way the college students do at the service designed for them.    We sat in a circle being led in worship by a single guitar and the lyrics to the songs printed out for us.  We had a time of singing, a time of praying, and a time of discussing scripture with just a couple other people...t was a beautiful and powerful.

Another phenomenal day, capped off by this shot when we arrived back to Durham that evening: 

 

Day 4 - Lindisfarne

We left the hotel for Lindisfarne at 9am.  Lindisfarne is an island off the Northeastern coast of England.  It's known by the locals as Holy Island.

There's one way on and off the island via a causeway and its only accessible by car during low tide.  Otherwise it's surrounded by water.

The island has a recorded history since the 6th century.  It became the center of Celtic Christianity under Saint Aidan, Cuthbert and others.  It was a hub for Monks and Priests to be trained and then  travel south throughout England bringing the gospel to the villages.    

It's known as the birthplace of Christianity for England.  From 715-720 monks and artists worked on what is now known as the Lindisfarne gospels.  They are known for the beauty of the artwork in its pages.

We had a few hours (before the tide came back in) to explore the island and have some intentional time of quiet spiritual retreat.  I found a gate with a quote on it that I sat by a few minutes to pray and meditate.  I walked around the island, toured the castle and just had time to pray and enjoy God's creation.

On the gate was this quote: "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant." (RLS)  I didn't know who RLS was until I got home, it's a quote by the author Robert Louis Stevenson.

I sat by the gate and confessed that for most of my ministry I've wanted to see the harvest.  It's easy to judge myself as a pastor when there isn't much of a harvest and often failed in my work.  The quote reminded me to be obedient to God and leave the results up to him.  If I am faithful to Him, the desired results aren't the win, and the undesired results aren't necessarily a failure, obedience to Him is the win and that should be all that matters.    

As James writes: "Whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues in it - not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it - they will be blessed in what they do."  We aren't promised success and God doesn't expect success from us 100% of the time.  When we obey the Lord we are blessed in what we do, not necessarily the results of what we do.  The blessing is in the obedience.

It was a powerful moment for me to be reminded that God is in charge.

We left the island at like 1pm and a few of us toured Bamburgh castle.  

We arrived at Durham University where we ate dinner and got settled in to the dorms of St. James College for the next five nights.  

We met David Wilkinson, the principal of the College and our contact and host.  David is an ordained British Methodist pastor and has a Ph.D. in Astrophysics.  He was humble, approachable and easy to talk to.

Oh and by the way, the walls of the cafeteria and several other areas of St. John's college are lined with original Salvador Dali paintings:

I went out that night walking around Durham with a few other guys and had a great time of fellowship.  What a phenomenal day!