Saturday, June 27, 2020

Fake it Till you Make it?

I’m in a funk. I feel like I’m losing in so many important areas of my life. Don’t worry, like my mom often says: “this too shall pass.” Even though it’s temporary, when you’re in it, it’s like the vacuum of the world is sucking the life right out of you.


I have so much to be thankful for. God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve. I know God is good and faithful. I know I can go to Him for rest. I know I can approach His throne of grace to find help. I know my salvation is secure because of Jesus Christ and that the Holy Spirit is with me.

So why am I in a funk? I could probably give you a few reasons, but instead, I want to share that it’s ok not to be ok. God understands and there are probably more people in your life than you realize who also understand.

Throughout the Bible we find some of the most faithful people in funks. Elijah prays for God to take his life saying “I have had enough Lord.” Hannah is accused of being drunk because she’s in such grief over infertility and praying so passionately for God to give her a child. David laments to God in Psalm 13: “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?” After Job faces loss like most of us will never know he wishes he had never been born.  Even Jesus prays for His Father to “take this cup from me” in the garden before he’s arrested.

Sometimes when I’m in a funk, I still have to preach. I still have to perform a wedding ceremony. I still have to pray for someone. I still have to lead a meeting. I still have to attend a coaching session. In those times it is wise for me to fake that I’m not in a funk. It’s something I would imagine many leaders in the secular and church world have to do at one time or another. 

My question is this: is it healthy? Is it healthy to fake joy, or love, or peace or any other positive emotion?  Is it okay to fake faith when preaching a sermon when you are in a doubting season yourself? 

If it’s not healthy, then what, do you just not do the wedding and let the bride and groom down at the last minute. Do you just not preach the sermon and say you can’t do it because you don’t know if you believe what you are saying yourself? I don’t think that’s the right thing to do or the professional thing to do. We can’t be happy and feel great and think life is amazing all the time, so what do we do when we have responsibilities and aren’t our best selves.

Enter “fake it till you make it.” If I pretend to have joy, or pretend that I really do believe in the message I’m preaching or that I am a good leader…maybe just maybe…if I do it enough I will start to actually be those things. In pursuing becoming the mother she wanted to be, author Leah McLaren writes: “I wasn’t just faking it to make it. I was changing into the person I wanted to be, simply by pretending to be her.” If we choose to act like the person we want to be even when we don't "feel" like being that person, there’s a chance those actions will lead to true feelings. If actions speak louder than words, maybe actions can also speak louder than our feelings.

Jesus didn’t feel like dying on the cross for our sins, He chose to do it. He literally asked God to find another way in His anguish. He also said “not my will but yours be done,” because He didn’t let his feelings dictate his actions. He chose to put sacrificial love in action. 

I do think there’s a shadow side to “fake it till you make it” that needs to be named. If we are always faking it, then there’s an issue.  Elijah, Hannah, Job, David and Jesus all went through the rough times and the feelings that accompanied those situations. They weren’t in chronic funks. Their funks were seasonal. If our funks are seasonal we will only have to “fake it till we make it” to get through those seasons. It’s when are constantly living this out that it can become dangerous and we may need to pursue professional help from a physician or counselor.

I’m so thankful I don’t have to fake that I believe Jesus is Lord and that my salvation is secure in Him. I’m also thankful for a God who calls us to agape love which might just include the idea of “fake till you make it.”