Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Unmet Expectations

I heard somebody say recently that most (maybe all) conflict comes because of unmet expectations.

In a marriage unmet expectations cause conflict.

At work unmet expectations cause conflict.

With my children unmet expectations lead to conflict.

With every single relationship in my life I can say that unmet expectations have led to conflict.

We can either meet people's expectations, change their expectations or refuse to do either and live in loneliness and isolation.

Especially in a marriage, it is important to communicate reasonable expectations and get agreement from your spouse that those expectations are fair and doable.  Otherwise, bitterness over unmet expectations will creep in and cause each spouse to be frustrated and withhold affection and affirmation, which just creates more distance in the relationship.

I guess that can be true with any relationship, not just marriage.

So, if there is tension or a conflict in a relationship in your life, maybe resolution starts with you communicating your expectations and listening to the other person's expectations and figuring out a way to either change them if they are unfair or meet them if they are reasonable and doable.

If there is tension in your relationship with God.  Maybe you are expecting something from Him that He just isn't going to do?  Maybe you have a view of God that is too selfish?

A good way to keep your relationships with people and God in check is to figure out what expectations aren't being met and why.

Have fun...no really, this can be freeing stuff and freedom is fun.

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